Chosen for his unique ability to make alcoholism appear badass, Patrick "The Drink Drinker" Knight has added much "umph" to TURD. Averaging well over a case each weekend, it appears that this first-round pick has been drinking at least a fifth of his body weight in liquid bread every Thursday-ish to Saturday-ish, because I'm guessing beers weight about a pound each, and I'm betting PK weighs in around 170. Furthermore, if this was a lifetime competition, Knight may very well be the most obese out of all of us right now; the most obese...with beer.
With the final stretch of Beirjing 2K8 this weekend and polls closing at midnight Sunday (by 'polls' I mean 'deadline' and by 'closing' I mean 'happening'), Knight has taken on an ambitious, yet admirable challenge: break TGFG's individual record of 53.5 beers, set by Reid "Jungle-Death" Currie. This may be the weekend to do it, considering the TGFG's recent plague of injuries, including a tonsil surgery, an Asian, and a team acronym slightly less clever Thurgood Gordon Ignatious Friday's already sub-par restaurant chain.
With PK's daunting task ahead of him in which he will "try" to break an Beer Olympic record--and his aforementioned, uncanny "umph"-like presence--TURD certainly has a new motto for the weekend: tryumph.
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